AMAZINGLY SIMPLE HOME REMEDIES

*  Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop.
*  Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
*  For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
*  A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
*  If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives; then you'll be afraid to cough.
*  You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
*  Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
*  If you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.